2026-09-02 13:12:00
A round of crazy golf is fun on its own, but add a proper penalty for whoever comes last and the whole thing turns into something your group actually plans around. “Loser buys the drinks” only gets you so far, and it stops being funny about three group outings in. A round of York crazy golf already hands you a wizarding theme to borrow from, so instead of the same old forfeit, why not make the losers earn their place at the bottom of the leaderboard properly.
The trick is picking penalties that make the whole group laugh rather than just the winners. A forfeit that's genuinely funny gets requested again on the next outing. One that just feels mean tends to quietly disappear after a single round. Here are five ways to raise the stakes without ruining anyone's afternoon.
Before picking a penalty, it's worth deciding what kind of competitive your group actually is. A good forfeit should make everyone laugh, including whoever's on the receiving end. The moment a penalty starts to feel like an actual punishment rather than a joke, the fun drains out of the whole game fast. Some groups can handle a proper roasting and others would rather keep things gentle, so read the room before you settle on anything too elaborate.
A few ground rules keep things on the right side of that line:
Agree the penalty before the round starts, not after someone's already lost
Keep it something the loser can do in a couple of minutes, not a whole ordeal
Steer clear of anything that costs real money beyond a round of drinks
Make sure whoever suggests the penalty is willing to do it themselves
Set the tone early and the whole group tends to follow it, win or lose.
Since you're already playing on a course built around wizards and gargoyles, the penalties might as well match. A themed forfeit fits the mood of the round far better than a generic one, and it gives you a built-in excuse to be as ridiculous as you like.
A few ideas that lean into the theme without asking too much of anyone:
The loser has to speak only in spells and incantations until the next hole
Last place casts an imaginary “reveal spell” and has to admit their most embarrassing golf shot from the day
Whoever finishes bottom wears an invisible cloak, meaning nobody's allowed to acknowledge them for one full hole
The loser gets a new wizard name for the rest of the round, chosen by the group
None of these need props or preparation, which makes them easy to pull off wherever you are on the course.
Waiting until the very end to hand out a single penalty works fine for a short game, but a longer round benefits from smaller stakes along the way. Assigning a mini forfeit to whoever loses each hole keeps the competition alive even after someone's clearly out of contention for the overall win.
This works particularly well for bigger groups, since it spreads the fun around rather than piling all the pressure onto one final loser. Someone who's having a rough round can still “win” a hole here and there and dodge that turn's forfeit, which keeps things feeling fair even when the scores are lopsided. Keep each one quick: a silly walk to the next tee, a one-word victory speech from the winner, or a made-up fact about the course that the loser has to announce with a straight face.
The key with round-by-round penalties is speed. Nobody wants to hold up the group behind you while someone performs an elaborate skit at hole four, so keep every mini forfeit short enough to finish before the next group's even noticed. A quick laugh and you're moving on to the next tee within a minute or two.
The overall loser deserves something a bit bigger than a mid-round forfeit, since they've had the whole round to dig themselves into last place. Save the biggest penalty for the end, once the final putt has dropped and the scores are settled for good.
A handful of finale-worthy penalties that work well for most groups:
Buying the first round of potions back at the tavern
Performing a short, over-the-top victory speech on behalf of whoever actually won
Wearing a prop hat or cloak for the rest of the evening
Posting the final scoreboard to their own social media with a caption the group gets to write
Keep the finale penalty something that can happen right there at the venue. Anything that needs planning or follow-up tends to get forgotten by the time everyone's home.
Larger groups, whether it's a hen do, a work social how crazy golf helps team bonding or a big birthday, often work better with team penalties rather than singling out one individual. Split into small teams before the round starts and let the whole losing team share the forfeit together. It spreads the embarrassment around evenly and stops any one person feeling like the target for the whole evening.
Team penalties also open up a few options that wouldn't work for a single loser, like a group photo in an agreed silly pose, a short chant the losing team has to perform, or handing the winning team bragging rights to name the losing team for the rest of the night. Since nobody's singled out, even people who don't love being the centre of attention tend to join in without much persuading.
It also gives quieter members of the group a bit of cover. Sharing a forfeit with three or four teammates feels a world away from standing alone in front of everyone, and that small difference is often what decides whether a penalty gets a laugh or gets skipped entirely.
A good penalty turns an ordinary round of crazy golf into something your group talks about for weeks, provided it stays on the right side of fun rather than punishment. Agree the stakes before you start, lean into the course's theme where you can, and save the bigger forfeits for whoever actually finishes last overall.
Whether you're going with a quick round-by-round dare or a proper grand finale penalty, the goal is the same: give everyone a reason to care about that final putt. It doesn't take much to turn a casual round into a proper competition. A shared set of stakes, agreed before anyone's picked up a putter, does most of the work on its own.
Grab your putter, pick your penalty, and see who's buying the potions this time.
by Stuart Jarman
